Hull City captain Lewie Coyle has a message grassroots football needs to hear

The international break has felt painfully long for Hull City supporters, particularly for those who have followed the Tigers home and away throughout the season. There may be plenty of international football available to watch on television, but sitting at home and supporting England simply cannot compare with the excitement of being in the stands watching your own club.

With no Hull City fixture to attend, however, there was at least an opportunity to catch Lewie Coyle’s Big Interview on Sky Sports Premier League. For those who follow the Tigers closely, much of his story will already be familiar. His journey from a local youngster to becoming Hull City’s Premier League captain has been well documented.

Even so, there was something particularly powerful about hearing Coyle speak about his career in his own words. He discussed the highs and lows that have shaped his journey and was especially open when talking about the loss of his father.

Lewie Coyle sharing an embrace with his dad Chris (Image: Lewie Coyle via Twitter)

One of the most striking aspects of the interview was the pride Coyle expressed in having become somebody who had fulfilled his potential. It is difficult to think of a more positive ambition than that. Surely, when we consider our own lives or think about what we want for our children, reaching the best version of ourselves should be the goal.

Yet football has a habit of turning the idea of potential into something very different.

For young players, the constant emphasis on potential can sometimes become unhealthy. Instead of simply enjoying football, developing skills and making friends, children can quickly find themselves under pressure to prove that they are going to become the next great player.

That pressure does not always come from clubs or coaches. Sometimes it comes from the adults standing on the sidelines.

During the same period without a Hull City game, there was also a report on Look North about young referees experiencing abuse. Anyone who has spent significant time around grassroots football will probably recognise the problem immediately.

My son, Kasper, has been involved with local football teams since he was around six years old. Now, approaching 17, he is still playing every Sunday. Over all those years, we have witnessed plenty of behaviour that should have no place around children’s football.

There have been parents confronting one another in car parks, arguments between adults and, perhaps most disturbingly, sustained abuse from the touchline directed towards young players.

These are children.

If similar behaviour happened in another area of children’s lives, it would almost certainly be regarded as completely unacceptable. Yet football can somehow create an environment where adults convince themselves that losing their temper is justified simply because a game is not going the way they expected.

Music provides an interesting comparison.

Alongside playing in a band, Kasper also plays percussion. Over the years, I have had the pleasure of watching incredibly talented young musicians perform at school concerts and other events.

The atmosphere at those performances is often completely different from what you can encounter at a grassroots football match.

People arrive wanting to see every child succeed. They appreciate the effort that has gone into learning an instrument, rehearsing and eventually performing in front of an audience. Whether a child is exceptionally gifted or still learning the basics, there is usually a genuine sense of encouragement.

There is also a recognition that performing as part of an ensemble requires teamwork. Every individual has a role, and the final performance depends on everyone contributing. That is not so different from football.

Yet you rarely see audiences at school concerts behaving in the way some parents behave at children’s football matches.

Nobody starts shouting because they dislike the way a piece of music sounds. Nobody angrily gestures because they believe their child’s performance has been affected by another musician. Nobody demands that an adult leave because they are unhappy with the conductor’s interpretation of a particular piece.

Imagine somebody completely losing their temper because a second violin entered too early and supposedly damaged their child’s opportunity to shine on the trumpet. It sounds absurd.

And yet, on a football pitch, similar reactions can somehow become normalised.

Despite missing Premier League football during this unusually long international break, some of my favourite memories of football have actually come from watching Kasper’s teams.

They are not necessarily the matches that were won, the trophies that were lifted or the competitions that were successfully completed.

One of the moments that stands out most came towards the end of last season. With neither side having anything significant to play for, both teams decided to spend the second half experimenting by putting players in unfamiliar positions.

What followed was exactly what youth football should be about: enjoyment.

There were plenty of laughs. Both teams celebrated wildly when their usual goalkeepers managed to score. One outfield player who had volunteered to wear the goalkeeper’s gloves produced his own interpretation of modern football, choosing to defend with his feet and constantly shouting “modern goalkeeper” as he charged out from the back.

It was chaotic, entertaining and completely memorable.

Those are the moments that stay with you.

Unfortunately, moments like that can feel increasingly rare as children get older and the pressure surrounding football increases. Winning, selection, results and the possibility of progressing through the football system can gradually take centre stage.

Soon enough, Kasper will be old enough to drive himself to matches. Perhaps, by then, he will not even want his parents standing on the touchline watching him.

When that day arrives, I know I will miss it.

But it will not be the victories I miss. It will not be the cup runs, medals or results.

It will simply be being there.

That is perhaps the most important lesson in Coyle’s story.

His father never had the opportunity to watch him play in the Premier League. He never got to see his son become Hull City’s captain at the highest level.

But he was there for the long journeys to training in Leeds when Coyle was a young boy.

Those journeys, those conversations and that support mattered.

Ultimately, that is what grassroots football should provide for children: an opportunity to enjoy themselves, learn, make mistakes, build friendships and discover how far their ability can take them.

Parents, coaches and spectators all have a part to play in creating that environment.

The obsession with potential should never become so intense that children forget why they started playing football in the first place.

Coyle’s journey demonstrates that fulfilling your potential is not simply about becoming a professional footballer. It is about giving yourself the opportunity to see what you can achieve, with people around you who support you rather than burden you.

And perhaps that is the message grassroots football needs to hear most.

Because children grow up incredibly quickly.

The matches, the training sessions, the car journeys and the Sunday mornings eventually become memories.

And when they are gone, it is not the scoreboard that matters most.

It is that you were there.